May 6, 2015 a pregnancy test confirmed that we are to anticipate baby #5 to join our family. Though this news was of the up-most surprise and shock to us we became excited and eager to welcome this small child to our crazy life and family. We decided to tell only close family and those who needed to know and just wait as long as possible to share with the world. Time went on and then the undesired happened. I started spotting. We took it lightly as I had spotted briefly in a pregnancy before but then the spotting turned in to a consistent though light habit. We had already scheduled our first appointment and u/s with a midwife and decided to wait it out until then. The news that was given to us was a low blow. Though I was suppose to be about 9. 5 weeks along everything was measuring at only 5/6 weeks. And there was no baby that they could detect. The midwife prepared us to expect a miscarriage to happen at any time. With the devastating news we called my husband's parents to watch the kids over night so we could take the proper time to grieve and prepare for the upcoming ordeal.
That night it started. I rushed to the bathroom and knew something was happening. Since this was our first time experiencing a miscarriage we didn't fully know what to expect besides what was told to us by the midwife and research we did online from first hand accounts. When the bleeding slowed and eventually stopped we assumed the worst was over and was ready to move on. I even went in to work the next day. While at work some spotting started up again and I rushed home to prepare for something to happen. That was around 2:30. Around 7:20, give or take, the process was starting all over again. I starting loosing a lot of blood, and at one point I thought I had passed the sac. After sitting on the toilet for about 2 hours I knew I needed to lay down and try to put nutrients in my body. After just a short while of laying down I had to go back to the bathroom.
After and I was finished, I got up and walked to the door. I knew something was wrong. By the grace and perfect timing of God, Andy had just come upstairs. I called to him and the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes and laying on the bathroom floor with him looking down on me. I had passed out. A few minutes of laying on the floor I was able to stand up with assistance and make it to our bed. Andy called the emergency line at the midwife and was told to take me to the hospital. He arranged for babysitters and as we were waiting for them I had to rush to the bathroom again. As I was sitting on the toilet waiting for assistance to leave I had passed out again but Andy was there with me and held me while it happened. My parents had just arrived, called 911, and they were able to get me to regain consciousness. I was rushed by ambulance to the ER.
I was still consistently bleeding. The ER staff did some blood and took basic vitals which revealed that my blood pressure was low (average was 90/40something) and hemoglobin was low. They hooked me up to IV fluids and started their normal monitoring. After a few hours I was wheeled off to get an u/s that revealed and confirmed there was no baby and still a sac. I was officially diagnosed as having a blighted ovum. After a few more hours of monitoring and them calling my doctor I passed out in the bathroom. Things really sprung in to action after that. Shortly after the incident occurred we were told by the nurses and ER doctor that I was going to have a D and C performed and a blood transfusion due to the blood loss I experienced.
Early Sunday morning I was wheeled up to the OR and was prepared for the undesired operation. Operation was performed and transfusion given and I was admitted to a regular room for recovery and observation. Due to so much blood loss my body was having a difficult time keeping a steady and consistent level of a good BP and hemoglobin reading. We were told when I was brought in that even after loosing so much blood at home my hemoglobin still read at an 11 where the average, healthy reading is a 12. Due to that information the doctors assumed my body was having a difficult time maintaining a steady BP reading because I had an above average ready naturally of iron. Eventually my BP got up to an average of 104/54 (that's a rough estimate). I was still suffering severe headaches. The nurses and doctor said they were going to try me on a certain medicine and if that didn't help another transfusion may be necessary. By the amazing grace of God, the medicine worked, they diagnosed it as migraines and we were able to go home Monday evening.
Through all of this Andy has stuck by my side. From the moment of our initial u/s he grieved with me. The moment the miscarriage started he made sure I had everything I needed. The moment I passed out for the first time he was by my side and started taking action. He stayed with me through everything. Every exam, every blood draw, every IV poked in me, being in the waiting room during the operation, and sleeping on the famously uncomfortable hospital couches/bed. He mourned with me, worried with me, and got frustrated with me. He felt helpless and the need to do something. He struggled watching me be in so much pain. He struggled with helplessness.
Once we were home he sprang in to action. The first morning of being home he made sure all my needs were met even if that was just making sure I got the rest I needed while taking care of our 2 children that were at home. While we anticipated the arrival of our other 2 children he started the unending laundry that my amazing mother didn't get to (this woman....she did laundry, folded laundry, cleaned and took care of our boys while my sister kept our girls along with her 3 kids). He got my prescriptions from the pharmacy and was still by my side.
He has filled his quota of "in sickness and in health" and I am forever grateful for him. I don't know what I would have done or how I would have handled this experience if I didn't have this very specific man by my side.
I love you, Andy. Thank you for being my partner, care taker, and friend. You have shown love and grace in ways I never thought would be a part of our life together. You are amazing.
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