Biblical Habits

 Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Having our children actively involved church has always been a priority of ours. Every Sunday, Sunday evening and Wednesday evening we were there. Sunday school, AWANA, Children's church, etc, we were there. I even had the children involved in Bible Study Fellowship with me weekly. So it was only natural to make sure Bible reading/lessons were incorporated into school once we started our homeschool journey. 

But even with all of the activities and intentional prayers at home there was lacking. I didn't know it then. Yes, I felt that desire to do more but I couldn't figure out what else there was for us to be involved in. We did periodical Bible reading as a family but try as we may, it never lasted for various reasons. Kids were so young they couldn't hold attention, they needed to go to bed, they were disruptive, etc. It was always something. I tried doing personal quiet times whenever I was awake super early or had time during the day. But with schooling six kids, now, I get very little to no free time.

Then God stepped in on our behalf. He gave Andy the desire to listen to sermons via YouTube, which led to him sharing some with me, which led to me playing them at home where the kids could hear them. It led to discussions between the two of us. It led to Andy growing in his faith in a way we didn't know he needed. It led to Andy's spiritual leadership growth in our family and naturally stepping up even further to be that example our family was so desperately needing. It led to us reading the Bible every night together as a family.

We started November 2023 using the One Year Bible. Andy pulled it off the shelf to read but most of the children got their Bibles and joined him. So it just naturally turned in to a family ordeal. We stuck to it. Through illness, busy schedules, visiting family and exhaustion. We completed the One Year Bible. And that reading time led to discussions with the children, explaining events that we were reading, answering questions, talking about dragons and using YouTube to visually see the temple being built in the book of Ezekiel. And now we have started using Bible Discovery TV. Every night after dinner and clean up, we're all on the couch with our Bibles and highlighters (to mark the emphasized verse) ready to read the 3 or 4 chapters for that evening and watch the Bible Discovery discussion. Its so educational and presented in a way that is easy to follow along. 

Andy's journey to spiritual growth has also helped our marriage. We weren't struggling, having issues or anything. We have always had a solid marriage (not perfect by any means because we're imperfect people) but his constant desire to grow and know more has positively influenced our relationship. We talk about the Bible every day, something we've learned or how the Holy Spirit opened our eyes to wisdom we didn't have before. We've grown our covenant relationship we started the day we got married with each other and with God. We're understanding the Bible better together and we're understanding each other better. His love for Christ has grown which has grown his love for me. He loves me better because he loves Christ better. I look at my sweet husband and my love for him is so much stronger than it was 15 years ago when we started our life together. Its helping us teach our children better by example and by actual teaching. Our children are being influenced by our daily habits. 

It has helped me humble myself even more. I've grown in patience and forgiveness. I'm quicker to show grace and apologize to my children and my husband when I mess up. I've pushed Christ higher up on my priorities which has made it easier for me to love and serve my  husband and my children. My desire to serve Christ has grown my desire to serve our community and love others.

Having that spiritual leader in our family has been a necessity. Having that foundation to support us is EVERYTHING. Without God, without our foundation in Him, our family wouldn't have survived. We see the growth in our children because of Andy's spiritual leadership. They WANT to read the Bible. They WANT to learn. They WANT to participate. Even the two youngest get their Bibles and join us, repeating a verse, just so they can be included. They may not last the whole 30-60 minutes, but they know we're doing it, they expect it, and they hear it. Our children are growing up seeing their parents prioritize God, the Bible, and each other. They are seeing the shift in our marriage, they are seeing the growth in our marriage, they are witnessing genuine love, affection and intimacy. Intimacy in the way we talk to each other, in the way we treat each other, in the way we share joy with each other, in the way we share our love for Christ with each other. They see me living out submissiveness while Andy takes the spiritual leadership over our family while at the same time they are seeing us work together in our family with mutual respect of each other. 

Keeping God first, loving God first, above everyone else and anything else, will make all the difference in any relationship. How and why would you want anything different?

I encourage everyone to start now. Start taking the time to read the Bible as a family, having those discussions as a family. Age doesn't matter of the children. Let them be involved. Let them hear the discussion. When its a hard topic, still discuss it. Let them see the Biblical rolls of husband and wife, father and mother. Live out your roles. Laying down that Biblical foundation will be the support needed to grow a family that will, God-willing, continue on in generations, that will influence the children to be amazing leaders in their own family and society, that will make all the difference in others lives.

God first. Always.

Homeschooling struggles and wins

We have four children currently in four different grades of school.

One child is extremely intelligent. They struggle a little at first, to be expected, but after hard work and staying consistent with practice, they can usually be successful. In public school they were tested for the gifted program. It didn't happen because this child struggles with anxiety over pleasing and following rules so thinking outside the box isn't a strong skill set of theirs. Homeschooling allows them to stay focused on their goals and appropriately advance where they are excelling.

One child has high intelligence but academically struggles with basic concepts and step-by-step directions. Its been a struggle since they were a toddler. In public school they were in the special ed class to receive a smaller teacher:student ratio. They also received specialized help regarding tests and subjects they struggled the most in. But the "special" help they received, I believe, held them back from really gaining confidence in their abilities to be successful. If its too hard they've acclimated to crying and assuming I'm going to either do it for them or just give them the answer. After I refuse to do both and make them do their work, knowing full well of their potential and ability. They are usually successful but sometimes they still fail but I can see where their struggle is and we can continue to go over problem solving skills. Its a lesson for them to learn that its ok to fail as long as you continue to try.

One child is another with extremely high intelligence. Learning became very easy and sometimes boring to them. Their teacher noticed and reached out, asking if they could have the child tested for the gifted program. Remote learning happened before the testing could be complete. This child strives through arrogance to be better than everyone else, which has them excelling in school.

One child was hard to figure out academically for a while. Their personality is a "seize the day" and "live life hysterically." They are starting to showcase their academic skills with a, "very smart and unmotivated" personality.

Homeschooling has been a challenge the last two years trying to figure out everyone's preferred skill set and interests. Some kids are absolutely thriving, some are right on target, some we've had to set back and start from a lower level. Some are able to have "extra work" at a higher level to challenge them without throwing them "all in." And some (ok, its me), are working on patience and how to positively change the way mental health is being challenged.

All this to be done at the comfort of home.

All this wouldn't be available in public school. I question my ability and decision daily. I still contemplate sending all or some of them back to public school. But then I think about some needs that just wouldn't be met. I think about diagnosis and struggles that would get ignored or questioned. I see strong bonds being formed between these children. Having them so close together has definitely helped but its beyond just age spacing. They are growing relationships and becoming even better friends. They are spending so much time together, playing boardgames, exploring outside, and bonding over similar interests. I'm so thankful that we have this option that allows such things.

And the toddlers. They are the ones that truly test my mental health and capability of balancing it all. One toddler is so incredibly independent and daily steps over that drawn line of curiosity and disobedience. They are hungry for knowledge but it has to be on their terms. If I suggest it I usually get ignored or a no. But I don't push it too much. The other toddler is just a clingy momma's boy. They LOVE to color and draw but more often than not that drawing and coloring ventures to furniture and the walls if they're ignored too long. Potty training is a joke to one toddler and an absolute fit to another if they don't sit on the toilet as soon as they notice their diaper is dirty. They both don't like being told no or redirected by me so I can focus on some other things whether its related to school or basic house chores/duties. (Heaven forbid I try to pick up a game spilled by the same toddlers demanding my attention or cater to another sibling hungry for the same attention from me.) Day after day its the same battle and some days I succumb to the anxiety and give in to my emotions.

I say all this because...well...I don't entirely know. Encouragement for those contemplating. Encouragement for others to know they aren't alone in feelings and struggles.

Its tough balancing everything, whether you choose to homeschool or not. But we know our children are worth it and the struggles we face as parents will, hopefully, lift our children up to succeed.

A never-ending battle

Depression and Anxiety. These two go together like peanut butter and jelly. When one starts surfacing the other isn't that far behind. Sometimes they are holding hands and entering together. Then they start feeding off each other and pulling you in a downward spiral that makes you believe it will never end. When they get you down in to that pit they start to then throw loneliness, disgust, feelings of failure, and sadness at you. They will make you think every negative thought you never imagined you could have. They will make you feel things that are lies; constantly battling reality and truth and forcing you to believe everything you know is a lie. Its draining. It sucks every emotion out of you and exhausts you mentally and physically. And because it happens often you start feeling like you can't talk about it anymore because then you start assuming you sound like a broken record. And when you start to feel like a broken record you start assuming the people you confide in are getting sick and tired of hearing the same thing from you. Its a vicious cycle, really.

But you can only keep it bottled in for so long. There are so many days you can keep it tamed and under control but then you realize you are about to have a bad day when one of your kids ask you why you look sad and if you're OK...3 days in a row. When it starts to physically show on your face and your precious child calls you out on it; you know you're in for a rough time. And you know its coming because of the thoughts you've been having. The thoughts of feeling like no matter what you do it will never be enough. Your house will never get cleaned, you'll never loose that dreaded pregnancy belly, you'll never be 100% caught up with laundry or dishes, you'll never look put together. The thought of there never being an end in sight. Then these thoughts bring up negative things that have been said to you that make you feel even worse; how horrible of a person you are for even having these type of thoughts, how horrible of a parent you are because you're obviously ungrateful for what you have, how horrible of a person you are because there are those unable to even have children and the life you're living. Another vicious cycle.

Then you start to think how better off your family would be without you. Surely there's someone else out there better at being a wife and mom. There's someone who could raise your kids better, show them love and patience better, someone who can love your husband better. Then you realize that's all you want; you want the absolute best for your family. Of course they'd be better off if you were to just pack all your belongings and leave. You're just a waste of space in their lives.

And then you cry. You cry because of the thoughts you're having. You cry because of the agonizing loneliness you're feeling when you're surrounded by people. You cry because of the constant exhaustion you have been feeling for the better part of a decade. You cry because of the constant feeling of failure, disappointment and hopelessness. You cry because you have nothing left in you but tears. You cry because you finally let go of all those thoughts and feelings. You cry because your soul is in agonizing desperation. You cry because you know you'll be doing this again.

But then I get out my Bible, turn on my specific music and I meditate; I use my cries and call out to Jesus. Sometimes all I can get out is simply asking for help. I don't list specifics because He knows. He knows exactly what it will take to pull me back up. He knows exactly what it will take to calm my heart, body, and soul. And I feel His presence. I feel His grace wrapping around me. I can feel Him reassuring me that I will make it through this. I feel Him telling me its OK to feel the feelings I have. I feel Him telling me its time to let go of those feelings. I feel Him reminding me He is bigger than any horrible, negative thought I will ever have.

And then I fully let go. I let out a big sigh. I go hug my children. I snuggle the babies. I fully appreciate the time with my husband. I feel my body relax. I feel grateful for the small circle of friends I have. I feel grateful for those few in my life that listen to me.

Depression and anxiety are real. They'll 100% kick your butt. Then you will 100% fight back. Because that's what we do.

A challenging pregnancy

Her side:

During the first trimester of this pregnancy I got very sick. I was throwing up all the time. I couldn't eat. I couldn't keep liquids down. I could barely stay out of bed. Some days I never got out of bed or off the couch due to lack of strength, energy, and the fear of making myself sick. Motion sickness was very much present, even the scrolling on my phone screen or the computer screen. It got so bad that I had to go to the ER right before Christmas and receive 2 bags of fluids and be put on a mild prescription for the nausea. Things had started to eventually look up minus the massive amounts of exhaustion that hung around.

Friday, April 20th, started out as a good day. It was sunny and we were all in a good mood. I had plans to take my boys and the boy I babysit to Creation Day at the local Christian Family Vision Library. They had baby animals, a creation movie, snacks, and activities for the kids. The boys had a blast. They got to pet a miniature horse, a lamb, a bunny, and see baby chicks that had recently hatched. We saw some friends and had animal crackers. It was windy and chilly but the sun did not disappoint. We are hoping they do this event again next year.

After lunch and when 2 of the boys were down for a nap I started to feel icky to my stomach. Not necessarily an uncommon thing for this pregnant mamma to feel but it was a stronger wave of nausea compared to what I had been feeling lately. I took my prescription medicine, something I have only been taking worse case scenario at this point, took acid reflux meds, drank some water, and tried eating, as that usually helps. But it wasn't helping. I laid on the couch and tried to be as still as possible. Then the headache started and the usual round ligament mixed with minor braxton hicks joined the club. Over all...I was miserable.

Right before Peter woke up from nap and the girls got home from school I got physically sick. Hoping that my stomach would eventually feel better, I changed in to some pajamas and laid on the couch some more. The temporary relief faded a lot quicker than I was hoping and about 2 hours later I was very sick again. The acid from my reflux was already starting to burn my throat, tongue, and mouth so bad and eventually blood entered the picture every time I got sick. This went on every 1-2 hours from Friday afternoon until Saturday morning. It made me sad because this meant I had to miss the Global Impact Conference dinner and speaker for the night and miss helping out at the Focus on Missions table, which is the group I went to Mexico with last summer. Andy wasn't feeling 100%, either, and in the end he decided to stay home, as well. And that meant he and the children missed their activities, too. We were all bummed but I needed to be in bed, which is where I was as soon as Andy got home from work.

Saturday morning, Andy found me on the couch, where I tried to sleep unsuccessfully, and we decided to call the on-call doctor at my OB's office. After telling him my symptoms and everything that was happening he decided it was in mine and the baby's best interest to go to the ER to check my blood count, fluids, and to monitor the baby just in case. Our amazing friend, Andy's co-worker, came over last minute to stay with the children so he could get me to the ER, where the doctor had called ahead to make sure they were ready for us. You guys, this made for a quick ER visit compared to our previous experiences. I got fluids and medicine right away. Fortunately, all my vitals were good, all my fluids were good, minus what I needed for slight dehydration, and the baby was moving non stop almost the whole time it felt like.

I was diagnosed with GERD which flared my HG (hyperemesis gravidarum). I was given stronger anti-nausea meds and told to take stronger over-the-counter acid reflux medicine. I was also told to eat a bland diet to help keep everything tamed and to, hopefully, avoid a flare up again. So, now I munch on jell-o, yogurt, toast/sandwiches, and hydrate with water and Gatorade. Exciting, right?

I am still overly exhausted, I still feel the uncomfortable cramping, the back aches, the headaches, and the round ligament aches. I still feel the waves of nausea and I still don't sleep very much. But baby Simon is healthy and active. I just have to continue to add limitations to what I can and cannot do the last leg of this pregnancy. 3 more months to go.

Once again, I am thankful for my husband. His empathy, support and concern during this difficult pregnancy is what is helping me get through it. He makes sure I don't over extend myself, makes sure the children are gentle around me, and understands when I don't eat dinner with them and sometimes have to be in bed at 8:30, sometimes earlier.

This Friday I am suppose to accompany my precious 7 year old on her school field trip to the local zoo. Praying that I can make it an enjoyable time for her and the small group of children I will be helping with. Praying it doesn't over-extend my body and put me out for the rest of the day. Praying my medicines will be fully in my system and working over time on this day. And, most importantly, praying I don't have to call and cancel on her. It would devastate her and me. I am trying to soak in all the moments I can with each of my children because when baby Simon gets here I know I will be focusing a lot on him as we adjust to a routine of having a newborn around again and teaching the children to be calm and how to help out. I will have all 5 kids home with me for about 2 weeks or so, depending on when he decides to actually arrive, before 3 of the children head off to school and Andy heads back to work. (Thankful for 2 weeks of paternity leave his work offers.) Then it will be just me, the baby, and Peter.

I know I/we (because Andy does help a lot at night) have late nights ahead of us. I know we have a lot of adjusting to do. But sometimes its hard to look past what is happening right now. And, for me, its hard to think that I can feel any different than what I feel now, feel any sense of relief. It really caught us off guard how quickly this all flared up this time and how hard it hit. We talked about all the different things that could happen once we got to the ER Friday. Some "worse case scenario" things because the on-call doctor did mention the possibility of admitting me and monitoring me and baby over night, if needed. But, since nothing bad came out of the visit, minus my inconvenient diagnoses, we are praying that our next hospital visit will be in about 3 months when I am giving birth to a happy, hopefully (but probably not) small baby boy.

James 1:2
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,"

My Mate

Her side:

My afternoon yesterday went downhill pretty fast. Most of the day had been great even though I faced such extreme exhaustion I could barely keep my eyes open. But we pushed through and had fun. We are in the process of potty training Peter. This little boy HAS to be trained by the time his baby brother appears in July. We've done 3 in diapers at one time during 2 different times. This time we'd like to be down to one who obviously will need them. Peter is smart. He knows but he absolutely refuses. He can go most of the day in underwear and not have any accidents but once that first accident happens he just can't stop.

He had wet himself and after getting his wet clothes off himself I left him naked because he had no more clean underwear in his drawer and I really just didn't feel like fishing some out of the clean clothes piled up downstairs. He tooted and I asked him if he needed to go sit on the toilet. He said no so I let him go on his way. This has been a huge road block for us. He refuses to sit on the toilet and try to go poop. I should have forced him to go but that was a fight I just didn't feel up to having with him. Shortly after I asked Peter if he needed to go, Gordie comes running to me saying Peter pooped in their room and Petey had poop on his leg. Sure enough, there was evidence going down Peter's leg. I send him off to the bathroom, clean him off and discipline him. I then had to quickly meet the girls outside as they got off the bus.

I go to air out the boy's room and search for the surprise Petey left for me. I couldn't find it right away and told Peter to come show me where he did his deed. He showed where he hid behind his bed and then tried to cover it up. He must have learned that from our cat. I open his window (thank goodness for the temporary warm weather we had) and take to my baby wipes to clean up the mess. This puts me in a grumpy mood only elevated by my exhaustion. And if this wasn't enough to send any one over the top my oldest decides to mouth off to me and be disrespectful.

Apparently it was my fault she couldn't find a certain homemade book from one of her cousins because I had put it away but it wasn't in the spot I thought it was. So I got a mouth full of, "You're always wrong" and "Its all your fault" from her. This brings me to tears almost and only makes my mood worse. I get harsh with her when trying to explain I put it away so it wouldn't get lost or ruined by her brothers and I was only trying to help. I tell her to go look somewhere else and she finds it but I get no apology even after I tell her how rude and disrespectful she was and how her words and accusations really hurt my feelings. And all this happens while I'm trying to finish cleaning up Peter's nasty display of bodily discharge. I take the baby wipes outside to the dumpster and just stand there trying to control my attitude, thoughts, and words.

I text Andy telling him what is happening and what has happened. I couldn't take much more after all this. When he gets home he takes full control of both situations. Peter is still in time out and I'm sitting down with Penelope helping her with her reading. Andy takes care of the situation with Amie, making her clean her room by herself and do dishes after dinner as her discipline. (The dishes idea was all her's after Andy explained everything I do for them with no help and very little grumbling from me.)

He takes care of Peter for me and sends him back to time out. The result of Peter is that he has gone potty on his own ever since then with very little reminders from me. (You guys, that poop was HUGE. And smelly. And GROSS)

My mate is my life saver. My mate is someone I know I can count on to take control when I feel I've lost it. My mate is someone who knows me well enough that I get very over emotional when my anxiety goes through the roof and knows the signs when I'm about to over flow from all the stress. And the result of the discipline he gave our oldest was me being able to relax and watch TV...by myself! She did the dishes with no complaints and little to no help from me (I obviously helped her when she really needed it and taught her where she struggled) and Petey left me alone and did his own thing.

I cannot imagine what my life would be like without Andy in it or with anyone else because they way he understands me and reads me is truly a gift from God and proof all the more that we are meant to be together.

Ephesians 5:28
"In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

May

Her side:

I never really thought much of the month of May. In fact, it was usually a very warm welcome to the year. School usually let out or was close to letting out, birthdays, graduations, Memorial Day, etc. Usually, it was a time to celebrate something. But recently, May has become more of a reminder of sadness than anything else.

In May 2014, we celebrated Andy's grandma's life. It was a bittersweet time as we mourned the death of a loved one and reuniting with those we don't get to see often at all. We also celebrated the beginning of life as one of our niece's was delivered that very same weekend.

In May of 2015, we found out that we were having a surprise baby. I started to sporadically spot around the time we had planned to travel for the holiday weekend to celebrate Andy's other grandma's birthday in Nebraska. Later that week we were to find out I was miscarrying for the first time and went through a very traumatic experience of physical, mental, and emotional loss.

This year, this May of 2017, was the month we were to be expecting the arrival of what was our 6th pregnancy/birth. At this time I should be listening very closely to my body, trying to notice any significant changes; the possibility of labor starting. We should have all of our baby stuff out and ready. Either stuff we still, some how, still have around the house, or stuff we had to buy "new" again. I should be very pregnant and "miserable." We should have a name picked out, a baby carseat installed in the van, and anxiousness of when it would happen.

But we aren't. 

This year, this May of 2017, my little family said goodbye to someone who meant the world to us. Someone who may not have been family by blood but was still a member of our family in every other way. She was the non-grandma grandma to our kids. They called her Mama Lynn. Andy and I witnessed death first hand. (OK, Andy was actually there when she passed but I was there that morning and had my chance to say goodbye.) Tomorrow, May 16, 2017, we say our final goodbye to our precious friend, to our precious Mama Lynn. Our children will be there dressed in her favorite color, holding and cuddling the bears that were gifted to them either in person from Mama Lynn or in memory of Mama Lynn. 

The month of May is slowly starting to turn in to the month of tears, remembrance, and heart ache.

Broken

Her Side:



I enjoy praise and worship music. I find it to be relaxing and, at times, exactly what I need to hear. But it doesn't usually bring me to tears. I don't feel that emotional movement, that emotional connection some feel when worshiping or, as I do, just listening to it. I don't feel its wrong or bad that I don't feel that. We all feel worship in different ways. We all worship, in general, in different way. We have our own connections with God. But today was different.



So, lets back track a little. Sunday evening was, honestly, the point of going downhill. Penelope started hyperventilating because Peter was staying home from church due to not eating his dinner. Now, usually she freaks out a little when we threaten to leave one of her siblings but we've never actually left any one of them. Its usually just one of those, "I'm ready to leave so I'm leaving with or without you" type of situations that usually works at motivating them to get a move on it. But for some reason she couldn't comprehend the fact that her father would be home with Peter. And I never said he was staying alone. But she escalated really bad when I started walking out the door with her siblings and asking her to get her shoes on, etc. Andy, bless his heart, was left having to deal with it and manage Peter while trying to get Nella to calm down and understand that he was staying. And she ended up staying home, obviously, because of her hysterical fit. He tried to bear hug her to help her but she was getting physically violent with him. Then, the realization kicked in that, in deed, we weren't lying to her and Andy really did stay home. And then she went to bed willingly because she exhausted herself.



And now we are at Monday. Its a federal holiday so Amie didn't have school. Which means I had the 4 with me. Nella received 4 weeks of free gymnastics/tumbling at the place she had her birthday party. Yesterday (Monday) was her first session. Its only an hour long but that hour was apparently one hour too long for Gordie. He had no listening abilities for me which led to me putting him in time out at the gym and then having to physically hold him and adjusting that hold so he wouldn't hit or kick me anymore, which was happening...on purpose. And, since it was a nice day, I planned ahead to try to make the most of the day and planned a picnic down by the river in St. Charles. That was horrific, as well, due to multiple children telling me no, flat out, in front of my own mother, Gordie still not having the ability to listen, and Penelope throwing a tantrum in the bathroom because it wasn't "normal." We headed home. Andy and I attempted a last minute movie date with passes we have had and that were about to expire. Who can pass up a free movie date? Friends of ours watched the kids and even fed them dinner for us (which wasn't really part of the deal but was much appreciated). I go to pick up the kids and Amie tells me no in her own way by refusing to listen to me and continually tell me she wanted to stay. Gordie was refusing to do what I asked him to do and then kept closing the van door on his siblings so they couldn't get in. He ended up with a spanking and standing in time out in the middle of the driveway, in the dark, while I got the other 3 in the van safely, and Nella, though she did control herself, was starting to escalate a little because she was afraid I was going to leave Gordie. But she allowed herself to actually listen to me and calmed down when I reassured her I wasn't going to leave him. 



Today. Tuesday. Our cat, Aladdin, had his monthly scheduled visit to the vet this morning. After getting clawed in the face, shoulders, arms, and legs, and quite possibly sprayed or peed on, I got him in his carrier. 3 kids and I took him inside where the bad behavior from the kids kept happening. And it has continued throughout the day.



So, my breaking point today was when I heard Aaron Shust's song No One Higher. One I've heard many times and have sung at church many times. But I was broken emotionally, physically, and mentally. And this was the first time in a long time a song has brought me to tears, if it has ever happened. I didn't even know I was at that point until I felt the tears streaming down my face. And I felt His peace. His great, comforting peace. And I knew that even if my day kept going in the direction it was very obviously headed, I wasn't in control. No situation is higher than God. And this specific song was used by God to break through me; to bring me Peace; to remind me of Grace. 



Most days I feel like a broken record of complaints, defeat, and not knowing what to do. Most days I feel like a failed parent, often questioning my own ability to raise my own children. But it is refreshing to get these amazing reminders, in whatever way I receive them, that God gives me grace every moment of every day. God is our prime example of how to parent our children, of how to love them and how to guide them. There is no one like our God. There is no one higher than Him.